Is Mitt Romney His Own Biggest Obstacle?

Mitt Romney has more personal talent than the vast, vast majority of us. He created a successful venture capital firm. When the fix was in for the Olympics, he repaired it.

Then why has he had such a tough time politically? Sure, there is the Mormon thing, whatever that is. There is also now the firing of people thing. However, these are only displacement “reasons”. That is, some people just don’t like him, so they site one or another deficit.

The question I ask as a psychiatrist begins where everyone else leaves off. We do ask why some people just don’t like him and why he has had such a tough time of it in politics. So let’s take a look at what is generally known, though not emphasized, about him.

Romney, like all of us, identified with his parents, especially his same sex parent, George Romney. George Romney was bigger than life. CEO of a major car manufacturer (American Motors), governor of Michigan, and would be Republican presidential nominee. Mitt Romney as a boy even campaigned door to door with his father.

Again, for all of us, there is some sense of failure, if we do not live up to our ideals. George Romney was an ideal. It would be a real surprise, if his mother did not admire Mitt’s father.

For anyone who remembers the Oedipal complex from college psychology, Romney seems a clear example. In the Oedipal complex, first described by Sigmund Freud, a little boy wants to marry his beloved mother. However, he fears his father’s revenge, if the father finds out what he is planning–to take the father’s place with Mom. Sometimes, he even wants to kill his father. The anxiety created by this internal conflict, between love and fear, is resolved best when the boy identifies even more with his father–in order to be what father is that makes him so attractive to Mom. That is, if he obtains the qualities in his father that his mother finds attractive, he, too, will be able to attract and marry a woman. The opposite is considered somewhat true for little girls.

The first part of this summarized in the Al Jolson song:

I want a girl, just like the girl, that married dear old Dad.

In any case, all that is buried in Romney’s unconscious. He, and all grown up little boys, would laugh or be horrified at the notion he ever wanted to marry his mother or kill his father.

Something else about Romney. He was a good little boy. While I don’t know this directly, I surmise it. I do so, because this aspect of his demeanor lingered into his adulthood. He was a proper member of his church, gave two years of his live to service, is a family man, and more, as we’ll soon see.

Just keep this in mind: If Mitt Romney was never a successful business man, he would feel a deep sense of failure. Also, if Mitt Romney was never a successful politician, he would feel a deep sense of failure. That failure runs deep, more deeply than for the average super successful person. This is because he would fail to live up to his identification figure, his Dad.

Fast forward. Romney achieves a major identification element. He leads a successful business. He also runs for political office. Here’s where the gentleman in him, the good little boy all grown up, got in his way. It happened in the 1994 debate with incumbent Massachusetts Senator, Ted Kennedy. The press was all about Ted’s fear of Mitt. When the debate began, it was clear the press was not just hyping it. Kennedy was visibly anxious, fearful. He was shaking. His hands and his voice trembled. At the debate proceeded, Kennedy interrupted Romney, and Romney did not retaliate. Kennedy did it again, with barbs, and again Romney did not retaliate. It happened over and over, until Kennedy gained confidence that he’d not suffer counter punches, or, in fact, any punches. Ultimately, the confidence Kennedy gained carried him to victory over the younger, smarter, yet good boy Mitt Romney.

Fast forward some more, to 2002. Romney, the Republican, was elected governor of Massachusetts, the Democrat. In order to do so, he could not be conservative at all. After all, he had to appeal to moderates and even some Democrats. That was behind his abortion stand and other positions he took, which some criticize as flip flopping. He had to, after all, because he had to fulfill his identity with his governor father, George.

Fast forward some more. In the 2008 Republican primary, his sense of good boy, sometimes seen as gentlemanliness, led him to back out of the race once it was clear John McCain would win. He would not be a divisive, bad boy Republican, like others who stayed in the race.

Fast forward to 2011. Romney, smart and competent as could be, learned. For the most part, he kept to the moderate stance that led to McCain’s being the nominee. This was a bit risky this time around, as the conservatives had coalesced into a movement, the Tea Party. In any case, he held to McCain’s strategy. In doing so, he also, likely unwittingly, used the phenomenon of duality to be the main moderate against a host of conservatives. In this way, he got 50% of the attention, from the press and the citizens. He also built an organization of skilled political operatives. Finally, he worked on and achieved important endorsements from popular Republican politicians.

However, he still was not taking off. Sure, the conservatives were shopping for an alternative. So was the press. They tried Bachmann, then Cain, then Gingrich. Romney crushed all of them. He had prepared for this with his giant superpac.

Next was Santorum, who benefited from the timing of a trial of him as a Romney alternative. That timing and hard work in Iowa was what got Santorum a near victory in there.

So, what was it about Romney that kept him from catching on, really firing up the Republicans. Well, one was his good boy self. He gave well organized, well thought out, fast thinking and fast talking answers to questions. . .and then he smiled. He was pleased with his performance. But that smile, that smile. Subtle, but perceptible. Some call it an SEG. He finished almost every response with it. It was an inappropriate smile.

Some candidates have an embarrassed smile, as if they are embarrassed at being thought worthy enough to be on the political stage. In any case, given Romney’s good boy persona, it seems his smile was a good boy smile. See? Look at me, I really did a good job–followed by a prideful, good boy, smile.

The problem with being a good boy is that leaders are seen by the electorate from their 3 year old selves, their unconscious. And the leader is seen as the parent. Parents, however, do not smile good boy or embarrassed smiles to their 3 year olds. They just say what they want to say. They don’t have to be embarrassed at being seen by the child as leader. After all, from our three year old perspective, they are omniscient and omnipotent. When we are good, they may give a kind, approving smile, but not a good boy or embarrassed smile.

And that is one reason Romney has not caught fire. He has this aspect of himself that voters pick up on, unconsciously. It is unparental to be like a good boy, and presidential candidates must not be unparental. We voters expect them not to be unparental.

Of course there are lots of other reasons voters make decisions. However, it is the unconscious reasons that have power–for the very reason that they are unconscious. That is, we are unaware of them. This is what is behind the political guru’s opinions that a candidate is not “presidential”. It is left at that by laymen, but psychiatrists only start there. What is it that makes on candidate be called unpresidential? One clear reason is that the candidate is unconsciously perceived as unparental.

That smile. That smile was a turn off. It was unparental and thus unpresidential. It was inappropriate for a parent and thus for a president.

Note that I said was a turn-off. This is because Mitt Romney, son of George Romney, has finally transitioned into his own man. He is no longer the gentlemanly, good boy from the Kennedy debates. He is no longer the inappropriate smiler of the early part of the Republican nomination process. Apparently, he has had to become a man, through and through.

This will likely be strengthened as he gains confidence from victories. He seems to have overcome his obstacles of having to be the good boy. In doing so, he has a chance of fulfilling his father’s ambition and gaining, unconsciously, the full attention and love from his mother.

With this, he will no longer have to struggle to find it. He can just sit back, use his competence, and run for President.